What Aggressive Behaviour looks like

Definition of Aggressive Behaviour :

Involves standing up for your personal rights and expressing your thoughts and feelings and beliefs in a way in which is usually inappropriate and always violates the rights of the other person. People often feel devastated by an encounter with an aggressive person. Superiority is maintained by putting others down. When threatened, you attack, aiming at the vulnerability exposed in the other.

Message communicated in Aggressive Behaviour:

This is what I think, what I want, what I feel. What matters to you isn’t important to me.

Subconscious thoughts:

I’ll get you, before you have a chance of getting me. I’m out for Number One.

Goal of using this behaviour:

To dominate to win, to force the other person to lose, and to punish.

Verbal and nonverbal characteristics of Aggressive Behaviour

  • Intruding into the other’s space
  • Staring the other person out
  • Strident, sarcastic or condescending voice
  • Parental body gestures (e.g. finger pointing)
  • Threats (e.g. “You’d better watch out….”, “If you don’t …..”)
  • Put downs (e.g. “You’ve got to be kidding”, “Don’t be so stupid”)
  • Evaluative comments (i.e. emphasizing concepts like “should”, “bad”, “ought”)
  • Sexist/racist remarks

Payoffs when using Aggressive Behaviour :

You get others to do your bidding. Things tend to go our way and you like that feeling of control in shaping your life. you are likely to secure the material needs and objects you desire. You are less vulnerable in a culture characterized by struggling, hostility and competition.

Price for using Aggressive behaviour:

Aggressive behaviour creates enemies, which can induce greater fear and a sense of paranoia, making life more difficult for you. If, through our aggression, you control what others do, this takes time and mental energy and makes it difficult for you to relax. Relationships tend to be based on negative emotions and are likely to be unstable.


Next time Assertive Behaviour