Grief and Loss
So many of us have had to deal with or are at present dealing with, grief and loss this could be around losing somebody special in our life, it could also be losing a beloved pet and in some cases it could be losing a home or a job, the difficulty most of his face is people’s reactions they don't know what to say they don't know how to act this becomes more difficult as time passes I'm people say on here over it yet it's been a year it's been five years or even in some cases it's twenty or thirty years surely, people say haven't you got over it yet, haven't you moved on and yes the best one time heals these cliches can be really difficult to hear when people don't understand the heart felt loss and howe this grief and their loss still sits within you.
I wanted to share with you my own experience this year is a decade (Gosh that's ten years!) of feeling the loss of someone exceptionally close to me. Over the years I to have had people saying cliches, however, I find as the anniversary approaches I feel the loss today as I did ten years ago. When someone we love whether it be a person and /or a pet they are never far away from our minds especially round the anniversary of the loss, we are at these times thrown back into grief. As I have been recently.
I've come across several different pictures I use with my clients, and I am reminded of them today
When we think of cliches and what people say and think the picture below really indicates that. If we look at the top level that the grief is very big to start off with and the grief becomes smaller overtime this is not the case; as depicted on the second part of this picture below what really happens is the grief stays the same the loss stays the same however we grow overtime we learned to live with the grief and lost but it never goes away.
Another picture that I like to use with my clients is below this picture depicts an actual grief and loss journey; most people think and believe there are stages we go through only once and when we have gone through them it’s all over, however, this cycle is not linear and at times we can revisit each area, you can see from this picture there is nothing linear about grief and loss.
When we thinking about individual grief and loss let's remind ourselves at this moment in time more people are going through some form of grief and loss, as I stated at the beginning of this piece that this can be not only the loss of a person, a pet but also the loss of a home and job security, so let's be mindful of what we say, let us use our ears and just listen, in essence that is all a person struggling with grief and loss really needs somebody to listen to what is going on for them.